that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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