If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
