I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
