Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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