so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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