New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
