she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
