Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
