Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
