I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
