I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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