Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
