She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
