it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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