I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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