i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
