I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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