Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
