My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
