You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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