I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
