Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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