You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
