if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
