she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
