Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We need a shit load of segways right now
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
