The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
