I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
