I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
