Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
In America we eat man semen.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
