So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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