I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
