They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
