who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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