Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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