Nicole vs. Life
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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