Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
