Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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