So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
