so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize