bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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