I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize