The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I can tuck mytits in my pants
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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