So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
