I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
