Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
