thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
