weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
