At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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