I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
