if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
