In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
