VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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