I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
