so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
