So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
